Wednesday July 1

I had a realization yesterday, not quite to the level of an epiphany, but still something I should have discovered before.

Not that it makes any difference now, of course, but I was discussing going to college with a friend yesterday and I realized.... I just wasn't ready for it. A lot of people I know go to (or went to) the community college here before going off to a university (if they do at all), but not me, I moved off right away. Looking back, I think that was a mistake. I don't think I was ready for it psychologically. I should have stayed here longer.

For as mature as I seemed to be at the time, and as much as I told myself I was ready to move away, fact was, I just wasn't. Every bad habit I ever had in my life came back and several new habits developed. Some of which, like the binge eating, I'm still dealing with. I became isolated and depressed and couldn't deal with life on my own. Perhaps a few more years of semi-autonomy in jr. college would have done be much better.

Like I said, though, there isn't really anything I can do about it now other than just deal with the aftermath.