Random Thoughts for a Tuesday Evening

I'm starting to fall off the wagon again (or is it on?). It's inevitable, when things start to become confused in my life, I always turn back to my drug of choice, food. I've basically been eating non-stop since I left Las Cruces a week and a half ago. I don't know how much weight I've gained, and I've been too afraid to look.

Eating is one of those things that often has little to do with hunger. In my case, I think it's the symptom of some deeper psychological issue. I really feel that I don't have the control over my life that I once did. I'm done with school, put in many applications and resumes and now I just have to wait. The uncertainty is a killer for me and when my general sense of anxiety starts to rise, I start eating again.

I could kid myself and say that it's related to my moving back home for a while, but I won't kid myself, I just have no self-control and I can easily imagine me un-doing all my gains from the previous few months in just a few weeks. At the very least, I should get back in the gym...