All Work and No Play Makes Me Better

I've never done work and school in the same semester before. I've done work. I've done school. But never together. It is a very "normal" thing to do, people have jobs and go to school all the time, but I've long resisted it, theoretically, on the grounds that a job would hurt my academically. Truth is, that was really just a lie. I didn't have to work and my naive self didn't particularly want to, so I didn't. Simple as that.

Almost from the moment I graduated forward, I have regretted that decision. Largely for 3 reasons: first, work and school is the "normal" thing to do. Part of me has always wanted to belong (why, I don't know) and be just like everybody else. Everybody else, at least the ones I knew, had a job in addition to going to school. Everybody else had to actually support themself (somewhat at least) while I was living on mommy and daddy's dime. I definitely felt the guilt of being the spoiled child and the disconnect it caused between me and my peers. However, I was so eyeball deep in self-pity at the time, this wasn't enough of a motivator for me to go out and actually get one.

Second, is the time factor. As I stated before, I claimed that having a job would have hurt me academically and it might have.... a little. But truth be told, without the job, I had way too much time on my hands. Too much time to wallow in my self-destructive habits that caused me so much grief during my undergraduate years. Too much time to think about my condition and feel sorry for myself. Too much time to be alone with my thoughts, which can be a dangerous thing. When I get bored, that's when things start to bad about things. The best way to avoid this, naturally, is to not let myself get bored.

Third, not having a job, I believe, put me at a huge disadvantage going forward from graduation. It essentially left graduate school as my only option since my work history was so thin, only a few summer jobs and nothing long lasting. Probably not the best way to go.

Of course, many of these things I learned with the benefit of hindsight after I had graduated. But one of my main goals for this phase of my life is to not repeat those same mistakes. Every time I feel tired from the work/school combination and ask myself why I decided to do both I need to keep in mind the fact that staying busy is good for my mental sanity.

Time will tell if it hurts my academic performance or not. But I figure, even if it does, that's ok because it will make me better in the long-run.