Monday: 8PM

The last few days have been getting better. Things are starting to come together and my life is starting to become settled again. I want my life to be different this time around, seriously different and I know it isn't just going to happen overnight. However, over the past few days, a certain thought has occurred to me, maybe I'm taking on too much too fast. So many changes need to be made and I plenty of time to make them. I just have to slow down some.

Life is funny. You want to think that you are in control of your own destiny and that everything that happens happens because you made it that way or planned it to be. I'm discovering, however, that perhaps 75% of life is totally beyond our control. That's how I've seen it anyway. Going back 3 or so years, where I had planned I would be and where I have actually ended up are totally different. I realized that there is a plan for me, one that I haven't made nor do I know what it fully is yet, but it exists and I can't stop it. The lesson here is that I need to stop worrying and let things fall into place on their own, which they will.

That's not to say, of course, that I shouldn't be a little proactive. There's still that important 25%. Things such as my physical health, relationships and work/school life are still within my realm of control and I have to do better at them this time around. I feel something this time, however, and this inner voice keeps telling me that things are going to be different.